So, it’s official.

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“I’m sorry to say that since you have been trying for over a year, that means we are looking at a case of infertility.”

There it was.

The “I” Word. 

Glaring at me from the other corner. Knocking its gloves together. Staring me down with a smirk, thinking I was going to be an easy KO…

It really wasn’t a surprise. I knew when we walked into the appointment that we would have to put our brave faces on. I smiled weakly and nodded my head to show that I understood. I knew this was officially where the fight would begin.

But I’m ready.

The entire appointment wasn’t too bad. This was my first visit to a Military Treatment Facility, so it was a little unsettling at first to have Doc walk into the room in ACU’s. I like him though.

The actual “exam” portion of the day only took a few minutes and was (thankfully) uneventful. Then he took the time to talk to me about where we were with TTC, and immediately told us what our next steps were going to be. He was understandably concerned when I explained how irregular (and abnormally long) my periods are, and said that I can expect plenty of lab work so we can find out the cause. First things first though: a SA for the hubs to rule out any problems from his end. (and hubs is just so excited about that, too…not.)

I also brought up the fact that I have been trying to lose weight but results have (and always have been) slow and frustrating, even with experimenting with a vegetarian diet and hitting the gym almost every day. So Doc wants me to make an appointment with a nutritionist to find out if there’s anything more I can do. (I didn’t fess up about the cheesecake I had to scarf down just to work up the nerve to face him, buuuut… I don’t make a habit of that so it can just be our little secret, ok? 😉 )

He was glad to hear that I’ve been taking my prenatal vitamins and offered to put in a prescription for them. When I asked if the prescription version was better than over-the-counter, he replied, “Well, no, but they’re free.” Like I said, I like him. He gets me. By the time the appointment was over, I felt like I was in good hands.

As we were heading back to the car, I couldn’t help but notice that I was feeling more optimistic than I had in a long long time. No more pity party!

So…

I’m officially climbing into the ring with infertility.

I am going to fight. Hard. 

And I’m going to win.

I got this.

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9 thoughts on “So, it’s official.

    • Thank you for the warm welcome! 😉 If there’s a silver lining to hearing that kind of news, I guess it’s knowing that there’s a whole community to laugh and cry and everything-in-between with, no matter what life throws at us. And thank you for the link, I’m always up for more sources of info to help me take this on. Stop by again anytime! 🙂

      • No problem, you’re so welcome! Believe me, those ladies are WARRIORS!! And it’s great when you have good OR bad news to share with people who really get it – not just someone who pretends they do but it secretly thinking, uhmmm when are you going to stop talking about this already? LOL

  1. Sounds like we are in the same boat! We will get there with patients and hard work! Looking forward to seeing your family grow 😉

  2. You are going to win…and you are trying SO hard. I’m so proud of you for being able to do something I never could have. I love how open you are… I have faith in you too. & usually I hold out for sushi when I have to go to the girl doctor [altho I love mine now…She UNDERSTANDS and she also did the more expensive, less painful pap test…hey my insurance covered it.. one good thing about Robert working so much, eh? She gets that I’m not just my girl parts and I’m not just PCOS and I’m not just a tired WOMAN who sometimes wants cheesecake and sushi because this day has SUCKED. I’m Clara, I’m an emotional eater, and also I may be a tad over emotional… WHO KNEW!] I love you & your blog…and I’m cheering, crossing my fingers, and going thru every heart break with you, SWEAR. I can airmail cheesecake.. ❤ xoxo

    • Clara, you are one of my favorite people in the universe for saying those things…You have been here for me from the very beginning – I think even before I was ready to admit that something was terribly wrong, it’s like you could sense it. Right now, I’m smiling and remembering the conversation where you told me that you had to report your stork to “stork management” and that you’d be happy to help me do the same, haha… I want you to know that you are one of the reasons why I decided to say “to hell with wait-and-see” and finally get the answers I have been too terrified to face. You’ve told me that you have been here, and that you know what this fight is going to be like… and then I see pictures of you snuggling with your little E and I know that it’s going to be worth it someday. Thank you for lending me your strength and for being a wonderful friend despite the years and miles that separate us. And by the way, your doctor sounds amazing. Airmail her, and the cheesecake. And also yourself, so I can give you the biggest hug ever. ;P

  3. The fight isn’t always easy I’ve learned: but so worth it. E gives me a new strength I never knew I had & your fight will give you the same! Us mama’s that report stork management, we are a fierce bunch. We don’t take any crap unless of course it comes from a little one. Wait and see sucks… it sucked for 8 years while my ovaries did everything but work. & like you I’ve did dieting with NO results. Pffft woman parts. BUT I CAN PROMISE I will always be here… Just long distance! Thank you for standing up for women every where who’s girly bits just don’t want to do what they’re engineered for. & if you ever make it up here, I’ll share E until we have a little C! 🙂 & if I could airmail you all of those things I would ❤ I'd love a big hug!! 🙂

    • So glad your fighting your Dragon 😉 you’ve got a great group of positive supporters here… embrace them, take advantage of their experiences, pain, struggles, humor and heartache. We’re all cheering for you from the sidelines!

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