Duh 101

As we climbed back into the car after my “incredibly informative” nutritionist appointment, I remember telling my husband, “Why don’t they just call that class ‘Friggin Duh 101?'”

I use the term “appointment” loosely, because what I thought was going to be my chance to explain my history and have an educated dietician agree with me that something is obviously wrong was ACTUALLY a class. A presentation. A colossal waste of my time.

Hand to God, there was a slideshow. A slideshow. With pictures of food and charts of calories. One slide talked about the importance of drinking water. She even gave us the equation to find out our BMI’s. Meanwhile, I stared at the freakin’ app on my phone that could tell me the very same information in a matter of seconds without fussing with a calculator. For the duration of the presentation, I fought the urge to roll my eyes every. time. she mentioned that there are 3,500 calories in a pound of fat, that fast food is bad, that you should keep a journal of what you eat… etc., etc,.

Really? It’s that simple, huh? Why didn’t I think of that? *Insert epic eyeroll here*

If only I’d thought to mention to my primary care doctor that I have tried every trick in the book, so to speak. If only I’d thought to tell him that despite a decade of struggling with my weight, I still have a hard time getting (and keeping) results. If only I had somehow conveyed to him that my body doesn’t want to follow the rules set forth by science.

Oh, that’s right, I did. 

And his first move was to subject me to this? A slideshow that literally looked as if an 8th grader had put it together as a last minute project for health class?

After the torturously redundant slideshow was over, a few of us who were a little more serious about getting healthier were herded (yes, I said herded) by a second uniformed dietician to a tiny office where we could make appointments to speak with a nutritionist one-on-one and hash out an individual plan. I snagged an appointment for the beginning of November and hustled back to the car before the profanities of rage and sarcasm began.

Up until then, I had tried to give my primary care Doc the benefit of the doubt. I tried desperately to hang on to those feelings of optimism he had given me after the first appointment. But now? No… I’m angry. I get that he’s busy. I get that my inability to have a child of my own is probably the least of his concerns, BUT STILL.

He said he would call me after the results of the well woman’s exam came back, and he didn’t: I got a generic card in the mail with “results normal” checkmarked. He said he would schedule me for some blood work, and he hasn’t. He also said that he would have the husband scheduled for an SA so that he could be ruled out before we did anything “drastic” with me, and guess what?

He hasn’t done that either…

So, basically, the panicky part of my brain is flipping out and is trying to convince me that I got one of those doctors who takes one look at you, sees that you are heavy, tunes out everything else you say, stubbornly believes that being fat is always the cause of the problem and could never be a symptom of a much larger health issue (Hello, PCOS!), refers you to a classroom with a slideshow about calorie intake and pats himself on the back for attempting to make the world a much more beautiful place…

That’s not rational, is it? Am I overreacting? Or am I right to be this anxious about feeling like my baby journey has come to a complete standstill before it ever really had a chance to get started? 😦

I kept putting this update off because I knew I was going to whine the entire time, and that I wouldn’t actually have anything of value to say… again.

But… What can I say? I am a basket case these days. Sex isn’t happening, since it’s cycle day 37 and I am still. freaking. bleeding. My doctor has forgotten about me and apparently wants to blame all of the world’s evils on my fatness. (Maybe if his penis had a tendency to bleed for several months at a time he’d be a little more sympathetic? I dunno.) I am kicking my own ass SO HARD for waiting so long to get this started… If I’d known it was going to be like this, I would have made that first appointment as soon as we moved here last November. Damn my pride and inability to admit when I need help. 😥

Oh, and now my husband is talking about getting another dog, which basically makes me feel like he just kicked me in the mouth and told me we aren’t ever going to have a kid so we might as well load up on the furbabies… 😦

Again, I’m sure that’s just my panicky brain talking, right…? Right?

And don’t even get me started on how I feel about my birthday being one stupid week away…


17 thoughts on “Duh 101

  1. PCOS is awful 😦 The toll it takes is terrible. It sounds like you need a new doctor… He’s not even really helping you. You aren’t over reacting at all. BTW, my birthday is on the 13th and I’m having those same feeling.

  2. I told you not to go to that nutrition “appointment” and yes yes yes you need a new doctor….stupid Army! I will tell you how to get a new doctor or should I say a real doctor

  3. Epic eyeroll times 100. I’m with you 150% – and I can relate. I’ve been struggling with my weight since I was a tween and, like you, once consulted a supposed nutritionist. You told me that SHE could relate to me and told me that she was prompted to get “serious” about weight loss after she gained weight with a pregnancy and her husband cheated on her. For which she “rewarded” him by following her weight loss with a boob job – and then suggested gastric bypass surgery to me. I was like, ARE YOU F’ING KIDDING ME WITH THIS RIGHT NOW?

    • Wow, she’s clearly such an amazing role model for young women everywhere and totally qualified to help her patients make sound judgements about their health and wellbeing, right? Ugh… I’m amazed that you didn’t just smack her stupid face and walk out! If only we could solve all of our REAL problems with a pair of brand new boobs… *sigh* 😉

  4. Pingback: Never Again… | A Calm Persistence

  5. 😦 this makes me sad. I work in an Air Force hospital and know all too well how military doctors can be. I have seen so many of my our patients overlooked due to…bs really…but at the same time, there are good ones too and I believe it is time for you to request someone new. Is it women’s health you are seeing or just regular family health? You probably already know this but in case you don’t you can go to the patient advocate and let them know you feel neglected, chances are if your doc is doing this to you then he is also doing it to others.

    Also, if you would like helpful info on weight loss/exercise/nutrition and just health in general then let me know! I’m no expert…but I am going to school for exercise physiology and currently work as a Public Health technician so I know a little bit…I can tell you more than what the nutritionist told you. I have been in that SAME Class and gag me haha it is good information but I mean dang I learned it in the 9th trade…remember Mr. Cox’s health class? Lol That’s the military for you though..death by PowerPoint.

    Good luck to you on this journey. A baby will come and you will be a wonderful mother!

    • Thanks so much for the kind words, Sierra! I still have a really long way to go to get there, but it’s so nice to hear it. 🙂

      I have no idea what his deal is… For a while I was able to convince myself that I was kinda lost in the shuffle, and maybe he was just busy, or maybe he was waiting on me to make the next move and just wasn’t very clear about what it was? I don’t know… Maybe he’s just one of the bad ones who doesn’t want to do his job. I’m pretty tired of making excuses for him at this point.. Maybe I should have a chat with the patient advocate (and no, I didn’t know that, so thanks for the tip!) 🙂

      I have to go to the MTF tomorrow for my next (hopefully real!) nutritionist appt, so I’ve already set aside the entire afternoon to run around that building and find out what’s going on. I just recently made up my mind that I am either walking out of there with an appointment to have my bloodwork done SOON or the paperwork to request a new PCM. Maybe both. Depends on how GRR I feel.

      And thank you again for the advice and for reaching out. I really appreciate that! 🙂 I just might take you up on that offer and shoot you a few questions at some point. After witnessing a slideshow that made our high school health class look like a pre-med course, I actually don’t have high hopes for tomorrow’s appt either, haha…

      Death by PowerPoint, lol, oh man, no more please!

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